The MS Rollercoaster: Navigating with Compassion and Strength

Including a short breathwork practice for compassion

Living with multiple sclerosis (MS) is like being on a rollercoaster. Some days, you feel strong and capable, and others, you’re met with challenges that can feel overwhelming. It’s unpredictable and sometimes isolating. There are days when fatigue feels like an invisible weight, or brain fog makes even simple tasks seem daunting. And then there’s the reality of symptoms that sometimes come and go, making it hard for others to understand what you’re experiencing. Through it all, learning to feel self-compassion and offering kindness to others can make the ride a little gentler.

L’enfer, c’est les autres

Jean-Paul Sartre’s famous phrase “L’enfer, c’est les autres” (translated as “Hell is other people”) comes from his 1944 play Huis Clos (No Exit). It’s often misunderstood as a statement about disliking other people, but Sartre actually meant something deeper about human relationships and self-perception.

In existentialist philosophy, Sartre argues that our sense of self is heavily influenced by how others see us. We become trapped in the judgments and expectations of others, leading to feelings of alienation, anxiety, and a loss of personal freedom. In No Exit, three characters are locked in a room together for eternity, gradually realising that their suffering comes not from physical torture, but from being seen and defined by each other in ways they cannot control or escape.

So, “Hell is other people” isn’t about people being inherently awful, it’s about being dependent on other’s judgment, which can feel like a kind of existential imprisonment. Sartre believed in personal responsibility and freedom, meaning that while others’ perceptions affect us, we ultimately have the power to define ourselves.

Interacting with others (both those who have MS and those who don’t) can bring its own challenges. Well-meaning friends might say, “But you don’t look sick!” or offer unsolicited advice about miracle cures. It’s okay to feel frustrated by these moments, but it can also be an opportunity for educating them.

Also within the MS community, we may encounter different perspectives and experiences. Everyone’s journey is unique. Instead of comparing, we can foster connection by holding space for one another’s feelings without judgment. When I started offering free yoga videos for MS on YouTube, I often received angry messages from people telling me I can’t possibly have MS, that nobody with MS can do these postures… At the time, I couldn’t cope with it. I couldn’t understand why people were angry with me for being fine… so I stopped sharing for a while until I realised their anger was not really aimed at me.

How do we navigate this journey with more ease?

We practice self-compassion. We remind ourselves that it’s okay to have hard days, to rest when needed, and to set boundaries that protect our well-being. We embrace moments of joy, however small, and recognise our own resilience.

We extend compassion to others. Whether it’s a friend who doesn’t fully understand why we don’t eat dairy or another person living with MS experiencing their own struggles, kindness can be a powerful tool. We can support each other by listening, offering encouragement, and creating a community where everyone feels seen and valued.

MS may be a rollercoaster, but we don’t have to ride it alone. By treating ourselves and others with compassion, we make space for healing, connection, and strength, one day, one moment, and one breath at a time.

A Little Breathwork Practice for Compassion

Sit in a chair or lie down comfortably. Let your body relax. Close your eyes if that feels okay. Say to yourself: “I am here. I am safe. I am breathing.”
Breathe in through your nose for 4 counts, pause for 2 counts, and breathe out through your mouth for 6 counts. (Adjust the count if needed but keep the exhale longer than the inhale.)
Let your breath soften your body and soothe any tension.
On each inhale, silently say: “Breathing in, I give myself care and compassion.”
On each exhale, say: “Breathing out, I let go of judgment.”
Now bring someone to mind, a loved one, a friend, or even others living with MS.
On your inhale, say: “Breathing in, I send them love and compassion.”
On your exhale: “Breathing out, I wish them peace.”
If it helps, place a hand on your heart as you breathe.
Take a few final breaths and say to yourself: “May I be kind to myself. May I be kind to others.”
Open your eyes slowly. Carry this gentleness with you.

Sending you all my warmest wishes and love

Veronique
PS: I am going back to publishing newsletter every two weeks so next one will be on July 24th!