Why We Hold On

Fascia, emotion and the intelligence of the body.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how hard it is for human beings to let go. We hold on to food when we are not really hungry. We keep things we no longer use. We fill cupboards, drawers and storage boxes with objects tied to another version of ourselves.

We search for the next supplement, the next treatment, the next pill that might finally make us feel better. And underneath so much of it, I think there is often fear.

Because when we stop reaching for something outside ourselves, we are left facing what is inside us. Grief. Loneliness. Exhaustion. Old pain. Emotions we never had space to feel.

Most of us were never taught how to sit with those things. So we distract ourselves. We eat. We buy. We hold on. Because holding on feels safer than letting go.

The body holds everything

But our bodies carry far more than we realise. You can often see it in people. Tight jaws. Shallow breathing. Hard stomachs. Shoulders that don’t relax.

The body adapts to stress and emotional pain over time. And fascia, the connective tissue that runs throughout the whole body, seems to carry so much of that story.

I find this deeply fascinating because fascia is not just physical. Anyone who has experienced bodywork, deep stretching, massage or trauma release knows emotions can suddenly appear from nowhere. Tears come up suddenly. Memories pop up out of nowhere - or so it seems. Sometimes there is relief without even understanding why.

It is as though the body has been waiting for the right time to release. For years we have approached healing as if humans are machines that simply need the correct input. Better diet. Better supplements. Better routines. Better productivity. Better optimisation.

But human beings are not machines. We are emotional. Energetic. Sensitive. Complex. I believe that what most of us need is more safety, to let go!

Why letting go feels frightening

I think many people want healing, but are also frightened by it. Because healing changes us.

If we stop numbing ourselves with food, what feelings might appear? If the body finally relaxes, what grief has been buried underneath tension for years? If we are no longer constantly fixing ourselves, who are we?

Even our suffering can become familiar. The body gets used to certain patterns, even painful ones. Letting go makes us vulnerable.

And yet there comes a point where all the holding becomes exhausting. Our body gets tired of carrying too much for too long. We feel disconnected from ourselves, from others, from life itself.

I think this is why so many people are now becoming interested in fascia, nervous system healing and more subtle approaches to wellbeing. Of course, they are also trendy but I believe that people are longing to feel whole again - maybe because life is so uncertain!

Returning to something simpler

The older I get, the more I feel that healing is about returning to what was always there underneath the noise. It is about remembering!

We already know how to breathe, how to feel, how to settle when it feels safe. And maybe fascia is part of that remembering, through listening.

I don’t believe we need to reject medicine or physical healing. There is real value in support, treatment and science. But I also think healing requires listening, honesty, compassion.

And the willingness to feel what we have spent years avoiding.

That can be uncomfortable but it can also be incredibly freeing.

Because eventually we realise that beneath all the layers we built to protect ourselves, there is nothing fundamentally wrong with us.

There is simply a human being who learned to hold on tightly in order to survive. And now, little by little, the body is learning it may finally be safe to let go.

This is what Conscious Connected Breath (CCB) allows us to do: to see beyond the protective layers - even if it feels vulnerable - in order to let go and heal.
If you-d like to experience a CCB, you could join the Breathwork Foundation course at the end of October here in Portugal… (https://tamingthewalrus.com/event/breathwork-foundation-course/)

Wishing you a wonderful weekend
Much love

Veronique